I’m not sure that CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) is much of a secret, but what it will do is challenge the way you think about things.
The theory behind CBT is based on the fact that our thoughts, emotions, physical sensations and behaviour are all connected.
If we think we’ll feel really nervous, you definitely will. If you think this’ll be fine, and I’ll just do it, that’s what will happen.
We’re all self-fulfilling prophecies, which is what CBT is based on.
The great bit about CBT, is that if we know our thoughts are connected to our behaviour, emotions and physical sensations, we can target one of them to impact (change) the others.
If you feel uncomfortable at parties because you think (thought) people won’t talk to you because they don’t like you; so, you try to avoid going (behaviour). Friends realise that you never go so stop inviting you and this makes you feel hurt and low (feelings, emotional and physical).
The problem with this, is that you never give yourself an opportunity to gather evidence that people will talk to you because they do like you.
If you change your behaviour (go to a party), you’ll realise that people will talk to you, which will change how you think and feel, about yourself and others.
What we think is what we feel.
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